My Happy Place

by Alchemy

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about

I wanted to make an album that sounded like a scrunched up, screaming face. And this is it. Pretty close, if I do say so myself.

I found the harshest guitar sound I could make out of free VST's, then mastered the sound into an absolutely violent brick wall. The goal was to leave you utterly drained (and hopefully feeling a bit cathartic) by the end of the album. I hope I succeeded.

During the writing of this album, I gave up drinking. It actually worked out so that the first half (track 1-5) was written and recorded whilst drunk; the other half (track 6-10) was written and recorded whilst sober. (All the lyrics were, as far as I remember, written drunk, though.)

Ben Chandler (resident artist at Wadjet Eye Games) painted the album cover because he's a very nice bloke and has questionable tastes in music (by his own admission).

If you buy the album (at any price, even $0), you also get a PDF file of liner notes featuring more of Ben Chandler's super moody, dribbly artwork.

credits

released October 22, 2016

Written, produced, performed, mixed, mastered, cuddled, violated, stitched and pre-heated to a crisp 220°C by Troels Pleimert.

Recorded at Broken Gold Studios, summer/autumn 2016.

Cover painting by Ben Chandler (@ben_304).

Recorded using free drum loops from Looperman.com and free VST's from vst4free.com.

Thank you to everyone -- you know who you are. (If you think it's you, then congratulations, you're right!)

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Alchemy Roskilde

A disparate output of everything from industrial punk to 90's-inspired electronica defines Alchemy, the musical alter-ego of Troels Pleimert.

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Track Name: The Greatest Gift You Could Ever Give
don’t worr y yourself , he’s gone
so much potential, so little done
so rich in poor choices
weep not for this wretch
he’s not worthy of your pity

let him rot
let him die
let him fade away like he always wanted

fear not, he’s better now
breathing was becoming a bother
ambitions were stagnating
no longer a threat to himself
and certainly not to any others
worry no longer for this bastard
he’s gone to a better place
six feet underground

let him die
let him rot away
let him fester and putrify
let him tend the soil in the best way he can
let him fade away like he always wanted
Track Name: Not Participating
Seconds turn into hours turn into minutes
And it feels like going back in time
Just waiting, not participating
Just waiting for it to stop

Who’s to say it even matters anymore
Going nowhere, doing nothing of value
Just waiting, not participating
Just waiting for it to stop

Time loses meaning when you stare at the numbers for too long
Life loses all meaning when you stare at numbers all day long

Safely cocooned in sad inactivity
Staring at the wall all day
Just waiting, not participating
Just waiting for it to stop

It’s nobody’s fault but circumstance
But that doesn’t change a thing
Just waiting, not participating
Just waiting for it to stop

Dial it back a million years
Going forward seems so pointless
Just waiting, not participating
Just waiting for it to stop

Was there ever anyone here?
Who’s to say it hasn’t already ended?
Who’s waiting? Participating?
Why wait for it to stop?
Track Name: Jet Fuel Can't Melt Steel Beams
you’ll believe anything you read
you’ll decry anything you’re told
you’ll sell your soul for wisdom
but your soul is worth nothing

you’ll eat up all the lies
you’ll regurgitate and emphathize
you’ll sell your soul for your beliefs
but your soul is worth nothing

you’ll cry and you’ll lunge
you’ll charge to expunge
whatever you don’t see fit
whatever you don’t see fit

you’ll rail and you’ll weep
for the soulless heap
whereever you look, there’s shit
whereever you look, there’s shit

these people mean nothing to you

you’ll prolong any battle you fight
you’ll only back down when they’re dead
you’ll sell your soul for blood
but your soul is worth nothing

you’ll fight just to remain blind
an outstretched hand must be severed
you’ll sell your soul for salvation
but your soul is worth nothing

behind every tragedy is an even greater conspiracy
behind every life lost is a chance to get a book deal
you’ll be the one to finally tear down the veil

these people mean nothing to you
Track Name: I've Been To Hell
It’s dark and warm
It’s a womb of evil
A wail rings out
In a never-ending corridor
Breathing desists
Smoke fills the air
A stifled scream
From lungs you don’t need

I’ve been to Hell
But there are no flames
Your very own Hell
Is inside your head

You’ve set the stage
For your own demise
Your sizzling skin
You’ve set ablaze yourself
The light’s gone out
Your soul’s bereft
Your thieving ways
Something’s bound to give

One hope, one breath, one final hour
One tear, one drop of sweat so sour
One hate, the never-ending hour
Some things you can’t devour

I’ve been to Hell
It’s in my head
I’ve been to Hell
Yet I’m not dead
Track Name: Saccharine Suppository
We were so sorry not to see you yesterday, or indeed at all
It appears you have fallen completely off our radar
There’s no image or visage or any signs of life
There’s just a catatonic silence where your essence used to be

We regret to announce that your flatline is imminent
You’ve checked out of our lives and off into orbit
Call it casualty, sacrifice or a warning
Call it anything you wish, as long as you don’t call us

We’d be remiss not to inform you that we’re not here for your sake
We sincerely hope that one day you’ll wrap your brains around that
‘Cos we’re not here to help, we’re only here to judge in kindness
It’s a saccharine suppository we’re sure you’ll grow to love

We’re not sad to see you go at all, in fact we’re elated
Your burdens were beginning to get too heavy for us to carr y
Wherever you are, you can trust us that we wish you good fortune
In whatever rapid decline you have chosen to pursue

We’ll say we’re sorr y not to see you yesterday, or at all
But frankly, this is as much care as you’re gonna get out of us
We’re fairly certain we couldn’t give less of a fuck
And this is supposing we had a fuck-giving device to begin with
What will remain true, as it always has and was
Is that people like you don’t really belong on our radar
And you can bitch all you want but it’s a system you helped build
And if we’re going to rot in it, then, by god, so should you

We wish you nothing but the worst
Thank you and have a lovely day
Track Name: Satan Needs You
We are the liberals that hound your sleep
We are the greatest conspiracy
We have our meetings ever y other Tuesday
We’re gonna bring you down

We’re gonna send everyone to a therapist
Show only gay sex on tv
Free abortions on ever y block
And blood transfusions for everyone

If you’re so afraid of dying
Then leave a mark while you’re still alive
Who would ever think you were lying?
Are you so scared to be alive?

We eat meat on Friday
Worship Satan on our Sunday
Our golden calf is our will to live
Our ultimate sin is giving you attention

We draw straws to see who’s next
Up on the sacrificial altar
We fill our youths with dangerous thoughts
And our swinger orgies are just the bomb

Why fear the people who live next door?
Pray, what’s this fuss all about?
Who told you judge not lest you be judged?
Who gave you all this clout?

Everyone can draw a picture
Everyone can write a song
You don’t have to spread all this misery
For us to get along
Track Name: Try Again
no, no, no, not again
I thought we had a deal
this wasn’t the way things were supposed to go
you’re declining
you’re de-evolving
right before my eyes

no, no, no, not again
this wasn’t the plan
we were going to make things better
we were going to make things right
you told me you were better than this

trying something new is always fraught with peril and uncertainty
but how else are we going to learn?
trying something new is what you said you always wanted to do
but how else are you going to try?
how else do you plan to die?

no, no, no, no, no, you bastard
this wasn’t how it was meant to be
you’re delusional, sanctimonious
you think you’ve got everything all figured out
but you’re stuck in your motions
ridiculous notions
and somehow you tell yourself it’s okay
well, let me be the first to throw this wrench into your mechanisms

you’re killing yourself
and everyone around you

give it up and try again
give it up and try again, motherfucker
give it up and try again
what have you got to lose? everything!
Track Name: A Moment of Sheer Introspection
It’s all gone to your head
You know what must be done instead
It’s all too much to bear
Dignity’s shred; no one left to care

DO THE RIGHT THING
YOU’LL LOSE EVERYTHING
IF YOU DON’T DO THE RIGHT THING
YOU’LL LOSE EVERY-FUCKING-THING

THIS WILL NEVER SATISFY YOU

It’s a never-ending repeat
Lose your footing, get back on your feet
It’s all too much to bear
Insidious thoughts you’d never thought you’d share
A burning ember in your soul
That makes you lose all fucking control

You’re losing every semblance of a normal life you’ve worked so hard to build
You’re throwing it all away because that vial seems so better instead
It’s fun while it lasts but there’s prices to be had
And you don’t seem to know what’s wrong
You don’t seem to have the first clue what’s wrong

I’ll tell you what’s wrong
I’ll tell you what’s fucking wrong

YOU’RE FUCKING YOURSELF
YOU’RE LOSING YOURSELF
YOU’RE FUCKING YOURSELF
AND HURTING EVERYONE

IT’S ALL COMING DOWN NOW
YOU’RE LOSING YOURSELF NOW
STOP TRYING TO JUSTIFY
IS IT BETTER IF YOU DIE
Track Name: As If
As if you needed another reason to hate yourself
As if we needed another burden to feed
Your senses are already tattered and smashed
But god forbid that should prevent you from signing up for another load

As if we need an addiction to keep us afloat
As though we breed the silence that inevitably comes
I’m gone, I’m shattered
You have been two different people for far too long

Why would we let anything come between us?
Why should we let anyone come between us?
Just let them into this world, come between us
I am my own world but you’re in it somehow

As if we need another reason to feel lonely in company
As though we need to fuel the pyre of insecurity
Just a quick escape, or drastic fucking measures
Will probably fix whatever really ail us

As if we need another dream to run away from
As if we need more lies to hide behind
Track Name: My Happy Place
A beautiful summer morning
Sunlight beaming through the windows
There’s nothing in here that can hurt us
There’s nothing here we can’t defeat

Has it really come to this?
Is this really going to happen?

And now the door is locked
Relaxed and settled in
Feet up, unwrapped and ready
The safety’s off

Will everything ever be alright
From the other side of the door
Guess we’ll never really find out
The decision has been made
When nothing seems alright
When you just keep sinking deeper
I hope you never do find out
The decision has been made

There’s nothing in here that can hurt us
There’s nothing here we can’t defeat
Except ourselves

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What a beautiful summer morning